Good tidings!! The great darkness that had settled over our young heroes these past weeks has lifted, much to our heroes' relief. It is now much easier to see their path to the Land of LivingRight. The Knight of Automation is most wondrous. It is little known, but when he was an orphaned child, Monseigneur Spending Plan raised him himself.
The Land of LivingRight. What type of land may this be? Why are our lovers desirous of living there? Merry Maid wrote down her vision, her definition, of this Shangri-La. Dashing Knight, acting the rogue, cheated and made her vision his own instead of coming up with his own vision. But at least our duo are in accord this fine day.
The Land of LivingRight is vast and has many villages, each acquiring slightly different types of Knights. The village in which Merry Maid wishes to live will include the Knights of Self-Control, Living Below Your Means, Adequate Savings, Cash-Only Purchases, Simple Living, and Low Commuter Travel Time. This village fends off the Evil Knights of Temptation, Materialism, Impulse Shopping, Guilt, Peer Pressure, Workaholism, Image Consciousness, and Hoarding.
What knights do your villages house and with whom do they do battle?
Archive for May, 2007
A great darkness has settled over our young lovers' path. Our Merry Maid has been viciously attacked by Knight Stress. Poor Merry Maid has not been able to keep much food down lately. She does not handle major change well.
In order to handle Knight Stress, she has spent many unnecessary coins these past days. Our damsel in distress has eaten out all week. She did not research the cheapest electric or internet companies. She also got a mani/pedi. And even though the landlords of her current keep admitted they know she was verbally told she wouldn't owe for cleaning when she left, they are refusing to honor that agreement, and will charge her $95. They won't look it up in their lease agreement scroll and Knight Stress is preventing her from opening up each and every box (she is completely packed already for Sunday's move) in order to find her copy of the lease agreement scroll. Ditto for the $25 deposit for her magical gate opener. With glee Knight Stress pierces her thoughts with having to unpack everything. She is considering paying an extra 200 coins to have the strapping young men get at least some of the unpacking done.
Hark! Our Dashing Knight is coming to the rescue! This eve, on a great flying contraption he will ride in to save the day. Merry Maid is depending on him to rid her of Knight Stress. With Dashing Knight's help, she is hoping she will not be paying that additional 200 coins for unpacking. Such tears of joy she is crying at the thought she will see him again after many, many, many moons!!!
Dashing Knight, our faithful hero, has diligently been driving his 4-horse drawn carriage around the neighborhoods next to his work, ferreting out a place for his lady love. Hark! An apartment has been found via the internet by Merry Maid. All our hero must do is fill out the application scroll Merry Maid personally delivered this day.
Alas, Time Stealer, the evil knight who convinces our hero to overschedule his day, has once again wreaked havoc. Dashing Knight has no time to fill out the application, nor to send it in, nor to get Merry Maid the exact totals and account numbers of ALL of his debts (so that she may work out a solid plan), nor ... well, dear readers, you get the point.
Our Dashing Knight is afflicted with the disease of WantingToHelpOthers, even at the expense of his own welfare. A side effect of the disease is actually thriving on the excitement of a crammed day, therefore driving out his desire for change. Compounding this problem is that he is such a gentle soul who doesn't have the heart to tell his family and friends, "nay." Merry Maid has no desire to change his nature; she even hopes to become more like him in this respect. So she is quite at a loss as to how to cure him of this disease. When Dashing Knight has too much to do, it is time spent with Merry Maid that gets sacrificed, and the plans they have made cannot get worked on, pushing their completion date back even further.
Ah, the lovelorn damsel in distress. How very sad she is that she has to fight for his time. But to her good fortune, she has the Knights of Faith and Confidence at her side. She focuses on the fact that when the move is complete and the financial plan is set up and on automatic, all will be well. Merry Maid NEVER gives up. An admirable trait in our heroine.
In the past, the leads in this story had not been wise with the trust placed in them by creditors. Alas, they did not always remember to make timely payments, if at all. Creditors talk amongst themselves, as people are wont to do, and they have deemed our lovers to no longer be worthy of their trust in extending credit. As a result, our young lovers have discovered they must needs rent as no money lender sees fit to give over good coins -- lest at a rate of 11.25% -- for the purpose of purchasing the much desired keep.
Dashing Knight is not happy to give hard earned coins to a landlord when he should be earning equity in his own keep. But with the Knight of Positivity and Merry Maid's help, he is learning to understand that were they to purchase the much desired keep, the King's taxes on real estate (and/or Le Condo fees) would be not quite 500 coins a month (a necessary, but complete waste in the eyes of our duo). Dashing Knight struggles with the Knight of GivingUp to acknowledge that since the coins would be spent regardless, what difference does it make if the 500 coins are spent on the King's taxes or to a landlord? The Knight of Positivity declares the coins meant for the keep's Money Lender may now be aimed with deadly accuracy at the Enemy hitherto known as Debt. Thus the Evil Knight GivingUp is slightly wounded by the Knights of Flexibility and Determination fighting valiantly in the shadows. Monsignuer Spending Plan's teachings are barely being learned, but the humble monk understands and blesses our lovers with patience.
The Evil Knight of DeterringCarefullyLaidPlans has repeatedly raided our young lovers' village these past weeks. Many moons ago, Merry Maid opened up joint accounts in her and Dashing Knight's names. But Dashing Knight has not had time to write out the scrolls his Not-So-Benevolent Lord and Master requires of him if he wants to direct deposit his coins in their new joint accounts. Between the time the scrolls are turned in to the time the money is first deposited, two fortnights will have passed. Even if Dashing Knight writes out the scrolls tomorrow, his coins will not be automatically deposited in our young lovers' joint accounts before the June 1 deadline to combine their finances.
Therefore, our Merry Maid fights mightily with the Evil Knight of Miscommunication. When she asks Dashing Knight if he has sufficient coins saved to pay off what he owes his apprenticeship money lender (3400 coins), he says, "yes." But what he really means is that he only has 2000 coins saved and his lance tournament stipend will bring him the rest of the needed coins.
Meanwhile, Merry Maid has, of course, already assigned the lance tournament stipend in another direction. Monsignuer Spending Plan is not pleased to have had his robes slashed by the Knight of Miscommunication. Monsignuer Spending Plan has called Dashing Knight to task and has elicited his promise to fill out his Not-So-Benevolent Lord and Master's scrolls on the morrow. This night, Merry Maid prays with the Knight of Gratefulness, acting as if the task is done. All will be well and peace will once again reign.
Our happy young couple are as happy as happy can be! Merry Maid's Benevolent Lord and Master has agreed to allow her to live in the same city as Dashing Knight, without the lessening of coins given each day! Oh, Happy Day. Said Benevolent Lord and Master is not giving monies with which to pay more strapping young men to load up and unload the household goods she has collected over the decades. The Evil Knight of DeterringCarefullyLaidPlans has won a small victory. However, willingly and happily our couple will pay such coins. Thus is added to their keep the Knight of Gratefulness.
As with all young lovers, disagreements happen from time to time. Our Dashing Knight loves his 4-horse drawn carriage, though the original cost (purchased new, egads!) equaled his yearly income at the time coins were exchanged 2 years ago.
Merry Maid has come to accept this outrageous expense as Dashing Knight is willing to go along with every other aspect of Merry Maid's plan to advance their pilgrimage to the Land of LivingRight, even giving up spending money from June to December. Merry Maid, having acquiesced to this one request, is learning to do so graciously. She sometimes falls off her horse, though, in this regard and humbly begs her mate's forgiveness.
Monseigneur Spending Plan's teachings are tres simple: Take one salary (in our heroes' case almost one salary - $1752) each month to pay on all debts. The remainder is to be spent on true necessities. If any coins may yet be left over, then wants wearing the mask of "needs" (such as our young lovers' cell phones) may be entered onto the Budget scroll.
• Merry Maid's cell phone and grooming $110.
• Dashing Knight's cell phone and grooming $110.
• Forecasted Keep expenses $602 (property taxes, utilities, maintenance fees, insurance).
• 4-horse drawn carriage (singular!) expenses $300 (gas, maintenance, insurance).
• Rental expenses from our lovers' Paid-For Keep $457 (maintenance fees, insurance, property taxes, CPA, property manager)
• That which is eaten and toiletries $175
• Life and PLUP insurance (Merry Maid enters people's keeps for a living) $39.
• Estimated bills of the Leecher $35
• Apothecary $50
• Honoring thine mother and fathers in the age old tradition of bearing gifts at birthdays, parent's days, and christmas $18
• Keep money lender $753
• 4-horse drawn carriage money lender $600 ("Aaaahhh," Merry Maid was heard to cry)
• Shopkeepers $75
• Dashing Knight's apprentice-ship money lenders $75
• (Merry Maid's apprentice-ship money lenders have put her 60,000 coins in loans in forebearance)
• Extra coins with which to pay down debt each month from regular salary $249